Loss of a friend.. Al-Fatihah

nearly 2 years ago I wrote here about my birthday wishlist.. & 1 of my wishes was for my friend to recover from Lymphoma.. However, i received the sad news early morning on 18th december.. he passed away 2.24am@ Hospital Ampang with his family by his side... I was breastfeeding early that morning when suddenly i received a message @ about 3am.. i was happy to see it was Afzal's phone number... but when i read the message, tears falling down my cheek.. it was a message from his brother Affendi, informing that he has passed away.. Inalillah.. He was intubated and induced coma from about 1pm the day earlier because he was having difficulty breathing & his blood pressure was crashing down..

I have loss a friend... a good friend that i would never forget..

to flashback on how I first met him... it was year 2000.. i first met him at the bowling alley in Kota Kinabalu during a interschool tournament.. it was my first bowling tournament.. Afzal & Jaffri represented La Salle school while me & my sister represented All saints School... we met again a few times during a few more bowling tournaments.. in 2001, i rarely see him as i have stopped playing bowling to concentrate on SPM..but we met again in 2002 @ Pusat Asasi Sains... he was there a few months before he was offered to pursue medicine in Sheffield University.. Me & my sister called him our "green button" because by seeing his face with his braces & curly hair, would always make us smile.. there is always "nur" in his face...He will always smiling...
Although he was in Sheffield pursuing medicine, he still keep in touch.

One day in 2008, I received a message from a friend who is studying @ Sheffield University as well... she told me that Afzal was diagnosed with Lymphoma... i was shocked... Afzal did not mentioned anything about his disease before this.. He wouldn't want us to worry about him...knwing the progress of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, i was worried.. He had undergone chemotherapy & like other people, he also experienced the side effects... I would always pray that Allah will ease his pain & suffering...
Afzal was a strong person... I couldn't imagine if i was in his shoes.. Although he was sick, he was able to study & graduated from medical school.. Alhamdulillah, he has graduated as a doctor.. but he couldn't practice as he was a patient as well.. He wanted to become a successful doctor, treating people to his best ability so that by the will of Allah, he can save lives, just as how he imagined it to be when he was a child... However, Allah has plans which has already been written.. early this year, Afzal's Lymphoma relapsed & this time it has spread to his liver & bones.. and again i couldn't hold my tears... i know the prognosis is bad...

Afzal was blessed with a supporting, caring mother who was always there for him.. and a wonderful family who always give him good supports & motivations.. I was sad to read these which was written by Mama Afzal ;

now part of me is happy for him because he is no longer suffering but a larger part of me is missing him so much. My baby is no longer with me. I am no longer able to take care of him for he is now under a more capable carer.
Al-fatihah for my friend, Mas Afzal.... You are a wonderful person that we will always remember in our hearts & will be missed...

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.

beautiful bouquet

I love bouquet.. to receive a bouquet is a wonderful feeling.. it's therapeutic..do u know that by looking at a bunch of beautiful flowers everyday can make u happy? It's striked me the idea 2 write about bouquet when i saw my friend, Erleena received a bouquet of roses for her 1st year wedding anniversary.. the last bouquet I received was during my 26th birthday early this year by my hubby (@ that time was fiancee :P) . he loves to give me flowers & i love it... hehe Hope that i'll get more & more in future.. hehe

This was my akad's wedding bouquet.. courtesy of my bff, shik...

i love this cute peonies...

and this unique tulips... difficult to get here

and this beautiful blue hydrangeas...

this was 1 of my hantaran masa my engagement... love the combination green cream so much..

and these sweet orchids...

calla lillies....


this lovely purple bouquet...

lovely peach .....

can i have this for my birthday, sayang? hehe

i love pink....

dusky pink roses with soft green double lisianthus, complemented by a profusion of tiny pink waxflower, green berries and seasonal foliages.

Hot pink Gerbera daisies, with pink roses & ranunculus and fragrant white hyacinth arranged in a glass bubble bowl.

don't u wish u have this lovely bouquet on ur table..i wish i can have a beautiful bouquet every day.. hehe or at least every week...

1 month old

Arianna Sofea is 1 month old .. Times flies… sekejap je my baby dah 1 month old.. I brought her to her 1st month vaccination @ SDMC on 10th December.. Her latest weight 3.88 kg.. naik nearly 1 kg since birth, happy :) dah besar sket anak mama ni :)

A mother's feeling

I never knew how it feels to be a mother until i become one... at this moment i couldn't imagine how my mother took care of me & my twin sister when we were small... taking care of my only lil one pun is sometimes tiring, but i enjoyed it so much... having 2 babies at the same time must be double the tiredness... Thank u so much Ibu for taking care of me ...

Before i become a mother, i didn't understand why some parents will cry during blood taking for their children... but when my baby Arianna was admitted to the hospital for jaundice, then i knew how it feels.. it's sad to see when they poke her to get the blood for investigations... i didnt' realized that tears falling down my cheek when i see her crying.. Arianna was admitted for 3 days for jaundice... we stayed at the hospital for phototherapy.. Her TSB (total serum bilirubin) was 356 but Alhamdulillah after 2 days it dropped to 175.. I was very happy when she was discharged..

Arianna Sofea, mama will always be with u ....

My precious baby Arianna Sofea

Sorry for not updating lately.. busy with the lil one. Alhamdulillah I have safely delivered a baby girl on 10/11/2010 @ 5.53am.. small baby 2.93kg.
Let me share stories of my delivery.. At 38 weeks, I went for a regular antenatal check up @ SDMC ..1st time I did my CTG.. For those who don’t know, CTG is done to check for any contractions and fetal heart beat. My Obstetrician, Dr Delaila told me my baby’s head is fully engaged but there was no contraction at all… CTG showed straight line… hehe not even a bit.. she predicted i would not deliver anytime soon.. maybe 1 week later..2 days later, I went to One Utama with ibu & ween because Auntie Ida wanted to give a lunch treat before I deliver. That morning we went for an early lunch @ Delicious. I had a yummy lunch, grilled balsamic mushroom sandwiches, drink iced chocolate & shared a few desserts hehe, Brownies ice cream, bread & butter pudding & apple crumble yummy…
at about 3pm, I went to the toilet & felt wet… I thought I accidentally pee on my undergarment.. But it became more & more @ 6pm… with some show..
Then later @ 7 pm, I started to feel the contraction pain..at first it felt like “ perut memulas” hehe so, I thought because of too much eating during lunch hehe..

At 8pm, suddenly I felt a gush of fluid from down there..my waterbag broke & that time I knew that the time has come.. Initially I wanted to wait until longer, but I couldn’t because the contraction pain was very painful,.. I couldn’t sit at all … I was sweating… so, Ibu adviced to go to the hospital…. Alhamdulillah abah gave a piece of paper with some surah n gave me air zam2 to drink.. Abah reminded me to read the surah for a smooth delivery… I was thankful that my parents, sister & hubby were there..

We arrived at the labour room @ 11.30pm.. Dr Delaila did the VE & os was 3cm.. She advised me for epidural as my contractions were too strong 3-4 in 10... 1cm for every hour.. means i have to stand the pain for another 7 hours.. Alhamdulillah, after epidural, the pain was less.. At least I can lie on the bed comfortably.. But I still couldn’t sleep… my hubby was seating on a chair beside me… he couldn’t sleep either.. Both of us were very excited .. Waiting to see our baby..

At about 5.20am…they told me it’s time to push, os was already 10cm..usually i'm the one who asked my patient's to push but now i know It is actually difficult to push..difficult to describe as well hehe. I heard subuh azan at 5.50am & soon after that i delivered my baby… Alhamdulillah, she came out smoothly.. Without epi.. I only had 1st degree tear Alhamdulillah.. Syukur Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. Thank u sayang for being there during my difficult times..



We decided to name our lil girl.. Arianna Sofea Bt Md Ariza.. Arianna means lively, Sofea means wisdom.. Giving birth is a wonderful experience.. I'm thankful to Allah for giving me & hubby this precious gift.. Hopefully I could be a good mother to Arianna Sofea & dedicated wife to my hubby, Ariza.. InsyaAllah..
Thank u everyone for the wonderful wishes & doa :)